Complain about lack of privacy and becoming desensitized to information sharing all you want, at the end of the day (or the beginning of the day, as it were), we just want the teeny AI portals we carry around with us to give us what we want. NOW.

Case in point…

“Siri, how long will it take me to get to work?”

“I don’t know where your work is. In fact, I don’t even know who you are! Go to Settings > General > Siri and set up a profile.”

“Siggggggh. Fine.” *goes into Settings and points Siri to my contact info* “Siri? How long will it take me to get to work?”

“I don’t know where you work.”

“FIIIIIIIIIIINE.” *adds work address to contact settings*

“Siri?” *deep breath* “How long will it take me to get to work?”

“Let me get you directions to work.”

*resists urge to throw phone, cancels out of Apple Maps, and opens Google Now*

“OK, Google. How long will it take me to get to work?”

“17 minutes in light traffic if you take this route.”

And that, my friends, is why Google will own every bit of information I have until the day I die.